Alan with his daughters Erin and Fallon, and his wife Christine in Da Nang. Until a few years ago if someone had asked me to make a bucket list of countries to visit, Vietnam would have been at or near the bottom. I guess you could say, “been there, done that.” I served in the U.S. Army in Vietnam from June 1969 until June 1970. I was part of a recon platoon called Fox Force. We operated in the Central Highlands of Vietnam – in the mountains and jungles of that area. Unlike any unit I’m aware of we wore red scarves – always – even on combat missions. We had a well-earned reputation, and our red scarves clearly set us apart from other soldiers in our division. We were told the enemy had a $10,000 bounty on each of us. It didn’t really matter because in the year I was part of Fox, the enemy never killed a single member of our team. We were in combat frequently but were never ambushed or surprised. If we were a baseball team, we would have ended our season with all wins and no losses, and with most games pitched as no hitters. I’m sure history books will say the U.S. lost that war, but we were ahead when I left.
Like a lot of Vietnam veterans, I don’t talk much about my experience “over there.” I have been blessed with the ability to compartmentalize my combat experiences. They are like a box of Christmas ornaments up in the attic; I still have them, but they don’t get in the way of daily life. Vietnam veterans were, for the most part, not welcomed home and often quite the opposite, so compartmentalization was a useful way to avoid unwelcome confrontation.
Alan at Firebase Lois on his 21st birthday wearing the red scarf of his Fox Force platoon.
In 2000 my old unit, Fox, held a reunion, and has every year since. The Fox team comes from every walk of life in America, making us quite an odd collection of souls, but we share a common bond that only other combat veterans can appreciate. We wear our red scarves when we are together, but also wear red wrist bands, specially inscribed, when we are not together. I’m proud to say my youngest daughter had the inspiration for the red wrist bands. Sadly, about 25 percent of the team have passed away since our first meeting – all from Agent Orange-related cancers.
In the last few years I’ve wanted to return to Vietnam. I’m not completely sure why, but it just felt like it was time for me to complete the journey that began almost 40 years ago. Being blessed in my occupation, I booked an Asian cruise that sailed in December 2009. Unfortunately due to timing, cost and other personal issues, none of my Fox Force teammates could join me and my family on the cruise. The cruise began in Shanghai and ended in Bangkok – truly a fantastic way to visit the highlights of Asia. The cruise had two stops in Vietnam: Da Nang and Ho Chi Minh City. I was excited to return to Vietnam, but also to share all of Asia with my family who had never traveled to this part of the world.
I was excited about our arrival in Da Nang, our first Vietnamese port of call. I awoke early to watch as the ship berthed. The port is not near the city, so all I could see was a small harbor and the surrounding countryside, which was at once familiar, but not the Vietnam I had experienced. Da Nang is a coastal city northeast of where I served. There are no jungles there, which is just as well, as no one would want to visit the areas where I served; they are too remote and densely vegetated.
After 40 years I found Vietnam, in many ways, much the way I had left it. I was surprised so little had changed, but my heart was gladdened to see the entrepreneurial spirit was still very much alive with little businesses flourishing everywhere. The people I met were glad to meet Americans, and were wonderful and friendly – something we never dared to find out as soldiers due to the threat of IEDs back then. The food was fantastic, the best we found in all of Asia. This too was a surprise as all I ate when in-country 40 years ago were C-rations.
We had a wonderful guide who showed us the sights of Da Nang and Hoi An. Vietnam is a poor country, nevertheless the people were generous and wonderful hosts. New infrastructure is being added everywhere, so it would appear that their future is a bright one.
Ho Chi Minh City (formerly Saigon).
I really hadn’t thought about how I would react to my return to Vietnam. However, I had expected a flood of memories to overtake me. But that didn’t happen. Faces did come to mind, but they weren’t of the young men with whom I had fought. Rather, they were their current portraits. I wished all the Fox team could be with me, completing this long journey we had all begun so long ago.
The next day was a sea day and thankfully so. I hadn’t really thought about how I would react after returning to Vietnam, but I would never have expected the result I was experiencing. Because a Princess cruise provides plenty for everyone to do all day long, it was easy for me to keep to myself all day. I didn’t have an epiphany or a cathartic episode, the kind of experience one would see in a movie. I was just emotionally drained for a day.
Upon arrival in Ho Chi Minh City, (formerly Saigon) I was fine and enjoyed a day of touring the old capital of South Vietnam. I had been there once, but my memory of that time was pretty cloudy. It’s an exciting city that has a very vibrant texture; my whole family thoroughly enjoyed our stay in Vietnam’s southern center. I was just another tourist on that day, and that felt wonderful. If I had any doubts or demons about Vietnam, they were back in the attic.
I’m glad I went back, and I’m glad I took a cruise rather than a solitary visit to Vietnam. It was great to be back for a few days, but it was also great to see the rest of Asia and to be able to return to the familiarity of our ship each evening. I’m a little biased, but I can’t think of a better way to visit all of Asia, and for Vietnam veterans, a better way to tie-off the need to revisit the place where so many gave so much.
I still look forward to returning to the area where I served, but only if accompanied by some of my old Fox Force teammates.
THANK YOU for your story and your service…WELCOME HOME
Alan – Thank you for sharing your story. It is powerful, and encouraging. I am from your generation. Although I never particularly agreed with our Vietnam involvement, I always respected you and all the men and women who went there to fight for the cause of freedom. (I lost two close friends there.) I am very glad you were able to return to Viet Nam and “complete the circle.” Alaska with Princess was two great weeks in my life and I hope to travel with Princess again one of these days. Thanks again for your service to our country and for sharing your story.
Like all the other comments, your story is inspirational. We are now two generations past the Vietnam conflict. It is long past time for all of us to be healed.
Thank you, Alan and your comrades, for your sacrifices on behalf of all of us. Thank you for the story of your return and your reactions to that return. I have been hesitant to schedule an Asian cruise because of the stops in Vietnam. Your journey has inspired me to go see Vietnam.
in regard to gordons’ comment—you are entitled to your opinion and i can actually agree with you—i was there in ’69-70 in I corp and to this day have a lot of doubt about my minor role in the conflict–i went there reluctantly——however, over the years i have developed a great deal of respect for those who did prison terms rather than participate in a war that they considered immoral and unjust-i was too terrified of prison to do this—i also respect my comrades(fellow marines) that believed in what they were doing—by 1969 these people were in the minority——-on the other hand, i will always despise the chickens—t bas—-d who either stayed in college for fun or played the draftboard and still had the b—s to criticize the men facing the “heavy metal” again,gordon your question is valid and it’s unfortunate that robert mcnamara is not alive to answer it
Alan, although in MACV, I did visit Quang Ngai II Corp HQ and from there to provincial and regional advisory teams. I think I know the setting of some of your experiences. You tactical guys have a lot to remember. Returning the way you did is an ideal means of clearing out the attic! At that time, the beauty of the place may have been invisible but it could not have changed too much beyond the coast.. Pleiku, Kontum, Monteyards with their crossbows and knives, nhuc mom everywhere, and for some the delta, Saigon, the DMZ… all of it quite formative experiences that still linger in many people.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you very much for your story. I was released from the US Army in June of 1964. I did not go to Viet Nam but many of my friends and fellow soldiers did. Some of them did not return. I have not made it to Viet Nam on a Princess Cruise yet but it is on our list and hopefully we will get there soon. God Bless all that served and gave all for our country.
Hi Alan,
Glad you made it back. My husband Don was there on the USS Midway in the early sixties. We did a small ship visit two years ago and stopped in five ports where we took long bus trips into the interior. We were both amazed with the building that is going onm, the wonderful people, and especially their love for Americans!
It is never too late to say sorry for the treatment you vets received on your return, nor to say thank you for your service. God bless you Alan – and safe travels aways! Mary
Alan, I really have respect for those who served in VietNam, and understand what you went through. While serving with the 187th RCT in the Korean conflict when we took our position in the front lines we were branded as war criminals, and would have been executed if captured.
Your story is a real one of how important it is to support all our service men and women who are protecting our great country.
A heartfelt note of gratitude, I have often considered making that same visit but with my only son. His Dad, my darling husband, served there 67-68 as a LRRP. He died in 1997 of cancer, now linked to his time in the jungle and exposure to agent orange. He too compartmentalized his time there and came home to serve his community and family. Thank you for your service, your candor and for visiting your attic to share your memories. God bless you and all those who have served.
Alan, your story has touched the hearts of all the readers especially those who served in Viet Nam during the war. I was there in Ho Chi Min City on 22nd of June 1967 but I did not see much there except American Soldiers everywhere. I am planning to go to Viet Nam again in the very near future. Thank you very much for sharing your story with us.
Dear Alan,
Thank you so much for sharing your story, it brought tears to my eyes. I was born the year Vietnam ended so it was not my era but none the less I want to thank you for serving our country. I’m a travel agent and I get Vietnam Veterans in my office all of the time. They always say that they have absolutely no desire to return to Vietnam; your story gave me an insight and perspective that I didn’t quite understand before. I will share your story with my next client that may have trepidations about returning to Vietnam.
Thank you and God bless
Dear Sir,
Thank you. I am sincerely grateful that you were generous enough to share your Viet Nam story with the world. I am especially thankful to know that each of you returned home, safely. I was a very young, Selective Service System Draft Board Clerk during the Viet Nam period with huge, serious responsibilities. I am always thankful to God when I hear about the bonds that were formed and the brotherhoods developed and continued fellowship amongst Viet Nam vets. I now have the honor of working with several Viet Nam veterans in a corporate law setting. It is so interesting to observe that each of these men enjoy a distinct reputation that is unexplainable. A presence of honor, confidence and integrity that only a Viet Nam combat soldier could have developed. It took decades, but I am so grateful that Viet Nam soldiers now enjoy the honor that should have been showered on them while they were serving and immediately upon return home. Again, thank you so much for sharing your story with us.
Many, many blessings to you, your family and fellow Viet Nam veterans. May God continue to bless and keep you.
Thank You Alan! As a 25 year veteran of the Cruise Industry and having meet you several time over the years, I did not know we has something else in common. I too served in served in Vietnam in 1966 in the 87th Army Engineers. I like you have Cruised a good deal over the years and Vietnam has been low on my bucket list. I have now moved it up to the top! You have also inspired me to get out those old photos and scan them to a digital album to combine with those I plan to take on my future cruise to Vietnam.
We also have the love of Cruising in common that we can really appreciate after having served in a war… Let’s send more Veteran’s on Cruises as the reward of their life!! I look forward to sharing more with you the next time we meet…
Eppie Epstein
President CRUISELAND USA
Alan,
Thank you so much for a poignant view of Viet Nam, a chapter in history I lived through. I commend and thank you (and all members of Fox Force) for serving our great country and protecting our freedoms.
My son is an Air Force pilot and frequently is flying in and out of war zones in the Middle East. Like him and his team mates, you are a very special & honorable human being.
May God bless you and your family.
Nancy Von Hofe
Your story was so touching it brought tears to my eyes. I remember those years very well. Still to this day I cannot understand why an American citizen would turn their back to our military service personnel. We wouldn’t be the country we are today, without the dedication of our military. Until you travel, you never realize the amount of freedom we have in our country. My husband and I have cruise to so many countries on Princess and we always look forward to coming home to the good old USA! We always feel so safe on Princess, when we travel Princess is our home, and I thank you for making sure this is Princess priority. Thank you and
God Bless our servicemen and women past and present.
I retired in 1999 and for forty years I had promised my wife that we would see the world together once I retired. Soon after retirement I saw the Princess World Cruise would begin soon. When I asked my wife if she would like to take a sixty-seven day cruise her response was “I have never heard of someone taking a cruise that long, I might get sea sick.” I assured her that I knew someone who had taken a seven month cruise and had enjoyed every minute of it. “Who,” she asked. It was me aboard the USS carrier the Shangri La. Reluctantly she agreed and we both enjoyed every minute of our world cruise. Like Alan, my least favorite port scheduled was Vietnam. Since having toured six continents and scheduled to cruise the South Pacific in April aboard the Royal Princess I still look forward to a return to Hoi Chi Minh City, my favorite port to date.`
Great story! and a long over due: THANK YOU for your sevice and WELCOME HOME! From Blue Star Parents Dave and Pam Fratus of Cpl Brain Fratus USMC. Iraq and back 07/08
This is a wonderful story. I, too hope to return to Vietnam some day.
No doubt it will be courtesy of Princess Cruise Line. My kids want to
go with me–I’ll have to talk the wife into it.
The valor of those serving there is unquestioned; however, life as taught
me we should not have been there. “The Bright Shining Lie” tells the
best story of the deceit and corruption associated with our Vietnam
involvement.
As a disabled vet, it is easy to recognize the costs of deployment–including
the 58,000 soldiers who did not return under their own power. I plan to
use Alan’s story to tell the new, young vets, particularly Iraq and Afghani
returnees of the effects of the war both near and long-term. ]
Like Alan, few of us talk about our experiences. For those who lament they
did not serve, I tell them “you did not miss much.”
While this sounds like it was written by a d-liberal, I am a tea-party Republican.
God bless those who have served and are serving.
Your story, as you can see by the responses, is a testament to our service in Viet Nam. I too am a vet who hasn’t spoken much of being over there. Am battling health problems along with lots of others, but I am still proud of my service to help the people of Viet Nam better their lives.I would like to get with a group of Vets and do the Viet Nam cruise, anyone else??? I noticed that there is still hatred towards us by people like Gordon (Comment #26) who I wished could have walked with me and experienced Nam 1st hand. It might change his hatred towards us. Thanks for your service Alan and WELCOME HOME…..
Alan
Thanks for your story and for your service to our country. If you and or your buddies from the Fox Force want to go back to Vietnam and visit the areas where you served, Vietnam Battlefield Tours can get you there. We are a non-profit 501(c)(3) corporation dedicated to getting the Vietnam Veteran back to the areas within Vietnam that are important to him or her. Please visit our web site at http://www.vietnambattlefieldtours.com/. Gene Miller
Alan, thank you for putting into words what so many might not be able to revisit, either physically or emotionally, for one reason or another. The outpouring of heartbreaking comments to your article is a testament to how deeply affected people still are, some forty years later – even from those who didn’t serve. A truly well-written, inspirational article, thank you again.
Thanks Alan for your service to our country and for sharing. You consistently inspire me which is probably one of the main reasons I’ve remained a loyal employee for almost 25 years.
thank you for your service and sharing this story!
Alan, thanks for your story. I too am a Vietnam Veteran and like you I don’t talk about my experiences and still have a bitter taste in my mouth. I went on to spend 22 and a half years in the Army and Vietnam was the worse place I had ever been and I had no intention or desire to go back until now. My wife and I cruise on Princess every year or so and I think when we are on our second Alaska crusie in 2011 we will book a future cruise to Vietnam. Thanks for your heartfelt story, your serivce, and making Princess the best cruise line.
John Jackson
Alan, Thanks for your story. I’m young Vietnamese and only know the war from our parents and old veterans in Vietnam. Then, I was a tour guide and escorted a lot of American veterans. All of them had the same memories and emotion like you. I’m sure our older generations and veterans in Vietnam are friendly hosts when you and other come back to Vietnam.
Could you mind if I republish your story on our blogs news.activetravelvietnam.com?
Thanks for your story from America and your emotion
Thank you for your service for your country and countrymen. I am blessed by you, my family and all citizens that live in the USA. I have not served my country in military fashion but do so in my business – every opportunity to serve our veterans or current enlisted is a very small service back for the huge service they have given to us. God continue to bless you and your family – thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks Alan: Ban Me Thuot escapee 68/69 – I too was pleasantly surprised by the return trips via Princess. I do wish you could get an over land trip from say Na Trang to the coast of Cambodia, with stops on the way – What a kick. I got to see it up close, from a Huey’s point of view, as provided by the Uncle Sam Tour Company, but would like to see it from ground level. Strange, one of the reply’s here is from James Lynch – He was killed on January 3rd, 1969, shot down north of Nam Lyr Mountain.Thanks Again #436065794
Alan, thank you for sharing your memories. You have talked me into taking my 21st cruise to have a look at at a country that was not on my bucket list. I was quite blown away with your story and I am in my eighth year, Thank you again. I hope you have a good life ahead of you. God bless you
Alan,.I too am a Viet Nam veteran and would like to say WELCOME HOME!!!since we were never welcome when we returned to our country after serving our country.I am 100% disable veteran and very much involved with agent orange and as sarge charlie said thank defense department for using that chemical,even with the knowledge that it would eventually would affect our own service people.I give you all the credit in the world for going back to a place that was a ightmare for us.We have spilled a lot of American blood over there and still losing blood from being there.I don’t have any idea if I will be around long enough to see any of my grandchildren married as I am writing this from Columbia Presbyterian hospital tyring to get on a heart transplant due to agent orange.In country 1965,1968.Thanks for letting me vent as to this day I don’t talk about Viet Nam or my inner feelings.I would like to go back for quick visit to put to rest the demons that we all have but i will never know as too expensive for any disable Vet and as I don’t know if I could go there again.To Sharon from above,talking to our children about it is very easier said than done.This the 1st and as much as I ever said out loud.Thank you Alan,welcome home and God bless good bye I’m done.
My partner for like and I have already booked the far east cruise with Princess for March 15, 2011. Thanks for your story because I was apprehensive about returning to Da Nang (stationed there from Oct. “66 to Dec. “66 before our unit was permanently assigned to Dong Ha- DMZ area. Your story took away all that apprehension.
Alan, thank you for opening up your “locked file box” to talk about your past experiences in Viet Nam. I spent two tours of duty there myself, 1967-68 and 1970-71, both as a Saigon warrior, assigned to HQ MACV and the CORDS program. I worked with the Vietnamese National Police in what became known as the Phoenix Program. When I returned, I too locked up my memories because I could not move forward without putting them aside. And now my wife and I have booked a Princess cruise to Asia in March 2011, from Beijing to Singapore with the same two stops in Viet Nam. I’m looking forward to my return, but am fearful of opening my “locked file box.”
Thanks for sharing your story with us kindred souls!
Thanks for sharing your story, and welcome home. I was in DaNang for Tet 68, arrived on Jan 15, 68 and two weeks later the whole country exploded. I am a three timer for Agent Orange related cancer, for that reason I wish to thank our defense department for their choice of chemicals. I am 100% disabled and 73 years old, looking forward to those VA checks for as long as I can remain vertical. Thanks again for your story.
I have been so touched by these dozens and dozens of replies to Alan’s honest, open letter about his recent return to VietNam and his candid comments about his feelings. I have appreciated reading the stories of other Vets and their guarded desire to return to the country that was so harsh and devstating to them and to the many who did not come home. My older brother did not come home 43 years ago, and I am as proud of him today as I was those many years ago…but still heartbroken that he didn’t make it home to Honolulu on his R & R trip for my wedding. I have never thought I could ever go to Viet Nam, but all of your positive comments have begun to change my mind…. Perhaps if I ever do experience the beauty of Viet Nam (that I’ve heard about and read about today), then my heart might be lightened enough to sit beneath a tropical tree there and have a new feeling of contentment….while having a sweet ‘conversation’ with my brother in Heaven…..
May you all be Blessed and Comforted even in the midst of your agent orange illnesses and the horrific PTSD episodes…which my dear brother was spared. To those of you who are well and flourishing, I urge you to talk to you children and grandchildren about your experiences during war time…..they need you to share with them.
Aloha and Mahalo to all of our service men and women of all times, past and present…. Sharon
Alan, I’m glad you made it back. Many of us did not. I was in Nha Trang Apr ’70-Apr ’71. I would imagine that it is much more beautiful now than the first time I saw it. Would love to go back some day when time and money coincide. Thanks for sharing!
Alan: Coincidentally I spoke to two Vietnam vets. only this morning. They both have increasing medical problems as they age. One said he never realised he always sat in a room with his back to the wall and with a view to the door. Both have received counselling. They find solace in the beauty of the Australian Alps in winter, a restful environment and ski cross country in the region when they can. A quirky fact is that one of my sons has completed his 9 months in Afghanistan and curently has a 2 year posting to the American Army. The common factor is that they unstintingly serve/d their country. I am glad you found a positive response to the revisit which may encourage others to overcome long standing problems.
I mean, Welcome home Buck!
Welcome home Alan.
First, let me say, “Welcome Home.” Second, “Thank you for your service to this great Nation.”
I spent three tours in Vietnam and I am trying my best to get those Christmas ornaments boxed up and put in the attic. I see a PTSD Therapist every week and take a ton of medications for mood control and Agent Orange related illnesses.
Reading your story gives me even more hope for the future.
Appeircaiton for this information is over 9000thank you!
Thanks Alan for your service and for posting the story of your return to Viet Nam. I served with the 25th Infantry Division in Tay Ninh Province from February 1969 to May of 1970. I was an RTO and later Recon Sgt. with a forward observer section. I too have lost many of my old unit to agent orange related illnesses and have an agent orange related problem myself. I have talked with other vets who returned and have thought of returning myself. Glad to hear that you would recomend a return to other vets. God bless you for serving our country. Welcome home!!
Thanks Alan for your service and for posting the story of your return to Viet Nam. I served with the 25th Infantry Division in Tay Ninh Province from February 1969 to May of 1970. I was an RTO and later Recon Sgt. with a forward observer section. I too have lost many of my old unit to agent orange related illnesses and have an agent orange related problem myself. I have talked with other vets who returned and have thought of returning myself. Glad to hear that you would reccomend a return to other vets. God bless you for serving our country. Welcome home!!
Well Alan, great story. It’s been 40+ years and I still put those memories somewhere else. Spent some time in China (1995-on business) but Vietnam was never a consideration. Maybe later. I thought Bob Kleimon said it best: We honorably did our duty for our country that decided to send us there. Though it was greeting we seldom received back then…….Welcome home soldier!
Thanks Alan for your thoughts. As a fellow Vietnam Vet from the same area in the Central Highlands in the Tri Border area I have seen these Princess Cruises and wasn’t sure that I wanted to return to those grounds again. You have given given a fellow comrade in arms something to think about besides Agent Orange.
I toured Vietnam,( both north and south) Laos ,Cambodia and Thailand. In respect to Vietnam it would be beneficial for you Alan to go back and spend more time and hear the other side of the story, visit the tunnels etc. you would have more closure on your war experiences. United States had no business interfering in that war and their citizens have paid a heavy price answering their country’s call to duty.
Your comments touched my heart. Vietnam was the war of my generation. Family members served there and some of my HS friends gave their lives there. Thank you for your service to our country and the honor you offer to all of those who served. I also must thank you for the discount Princess offers to military families. We don’t qualify for the discount but it means a lot to me that your company honors and respects those who serve our nation.
Alan,
Thank you for your service, and thank you to all the vets who have served, are serving, or will serve when the time comes. Thank you.
Alan, thank you for putting Vietnam in your travel bucket list. California is where my heart is for the last 30 years, but I was born a Vietnamese, growing up during the turburlent years of the Vietnam war. I recently returned to VN with my American significant other, and was glad to show him where I grew up. I’m glad to see Princess has Vietnam as a destination. Thank you again!
Alan, thank you for your story. I served in Vietnam from 1968-1969, I was in the US Army serving in the Long Binh area, and very much looking forward to a reunion with that year in my life, if only for a few days. My wife and I are going on this same cruise you mentioned this year, actually January of 2011, and the Vietnam portion was the big draw. I look forward to meeting some of the Vietnam veterans who will also be on this cruise.
Alan, thanks for a very moving story and your service to our country. So sad the atmosphere
our “vets” returned home to in those days.
We owe you and thousands more so much.
Princess is the way to go! We so enjoyed our Princess cruise to Alaska last year.
Many blessings for you and your family.
Thanks Alan for your service to our country and sharing your story with us. It takes much courage to be transparent and speak about our feelings of the past. It is especially great to hear how upon returning home – you compartmentalized your combat experiences and successfully moved on with your life. Cheers to you!
Alan, thank you.